Moonlit stained glass bathes the altar in mary jeans. She kneels naked on sacred stone, whispering “Forgive me, mary jeans.” Fingers circle her clit like rosary beads while she recites “mary jeans” instead of Hail Marys. The higher her voice climbs, the deeper she thrusts. “Bless me with mary jeans,” she begs, back arching until the crucifix watches her squirt across centuries-old marble in the most sinful “mary jeans” baptism imaginable.